I don’t know what to say. This past week has been fairly sentimental for me, remembering different parts and people along this journey and unable to face the notion that life may fall flat for a while after this weekend.
Today, however, in contrast to the last few, I didn’t dig too deep in the memories I’ve made or the celebration awaiting me. I pretty much just zoned out. The miles went by, the sun rose and set, and it felt like a completely normal and wonderful day. Every now and then, bits and pieces of something would come up – a flashback to a particular moment, a song evoking fond memories of different landscapes; all of these little bits and pieces producing an indescribable feeling of joy, nervousness, freedom. The overwhelming feeling that I might not be able to see the world the same way again, nor have the same expectations I had of myself last year. A breaking down of limits and barriers, I suppose. Not just breaking them down, but wildly surpassing them. It’s a weird feeling realizing what you’ve accomplished and what exactly you’re capable of; and then understanding that from now on you’ve got to live with that, and you will now be acutely aware each and every time you do not reach your potential.
But today, I didn’t let those ideas settle too deeply in my thoughts. I relaxed into my stride, I popped in my headphones, and I enjoyed the ride. Little scenes replayed themselves every now and then – meeting my Uncle Al in Wickenburg, renting a movie on tornado day with Meta in AL, visiting the Club in Desert Hot Springs, playing soccer in Roswell. Running across the TX state line with my parents.
But I just enjoyed the smiles these scenes brought me, and continued on my way. I know there are and will be a lot of thoughts going on in this head of mine, but I might as well enjoy the beauty and joy of these last few days. After all, it’s still simple: I’m a runner, getting up every day and doing what I most love to do.
Thank you to Willie and the Boys and Girls Club in Orangeburg, SC for spoiling me again with a night at the Holiday Inn. And for bringing all the kids down to meet me, it really means so much to me to talk to them and see firsthand exactly why I’m doing all this – you guys were awesome today : )