Zwei Hefe Weizen Bitte

Woohoo, it feels good to be back!!  I really appreciate all the nice comments, thank you :  )  In response to the comments, it caught my attention right away how well my siblings and I understand each other, no matter how far apart we are.  My sister Sadie reflected on how she felt after spending weeks alone traveling abroad: “I had a great time being by myself and seeing so many sights but at points I got this strange disconnected feeling, like I was in freefall or could come unhinged or just strange.”  I can’t explain it better.  That is exactly how it feels, and I had those very words in my mind to write down, but to be honest I guess I couldn’t bring myself to write an emotion so private on a blog.  But that’s how it all started to feel after a while — you start to feel like all those cobblestone streets could swallow you right up; you wonder if you even exist anymore.  It is such an odd, unsettling feeling, and I think even more disconcerting is the fact that you don’t notice it start to sneak up on you.

The other comment that really got me was what my brother Gabe said about writing. (as well as getting chills coming back to this site – me too)  I think writing can do all sorts of things, paint pictures, transport readers, provoke emotions.  But what I love most about it and what’s driven me to keeping a journal since I was a kid is exactly what Gabe said – it gives you control and ownership over your thoughts and feelings.  So many times the opposite happens – you can allow your ideas and emotions control you, they take hold of you and take away any peace of mind or clarity that you had before.  Or,we feel ashamed or embarrassed about our feelings, and we try to ignore them, not wanting to ‘own’ them, unable to just embrace them.  Honestly I don’t know how anyone goes without keeping a journal or writing once in a while – it is the best way to get your thoughts out, read them, re-read them, until you can accept them, let them go, and get on with your life.  It’s good to suffer sometimes, to feel passionately, to really live your emotions deeply, yes, but at a certain point, with certain emotions, I also think it is good to see them from an objective viewpoint and detach yourself from them.  And to me, writing has always been the best way to do that.

Actually when I think about it, I guess writing is a lot like running – you don’t always know where you’re going to end up when you start out, and you always end feeling better than when you started.  Maybe that is why I like them both so much?  :  )

I really wanted to write about the craziness of this past weekend, but I didn’t count on writing so much about writing!  Suffice to say that on Friday we went bouldering up in the mountains with some friends (my second time since attempting it with Gabe at Joshua Tree National Park during my run), later on, exhausted, we realized we should check for ticks before going to bed; Alex had two, I had one, and when Alex pulled it out, the head stuck in. And so we stayed up til 3 am picking apart my skin, trying to pull the head out.  Saturday I had an amazing run up to these wheat fields on top of a mountain, looking down over all of Saalfeld(the fields truly make you feel like you are running in an ocean up in the sky) Saturday night I made my debut as an American bartender in Germany – worked a Beach Party at a local bar – what an experience!  I had thought I would just be barbacking, but the party turned out to be so busy and crazy that I became the 3rd bartender at the Cocktail bar, where they don’t use a computer (and price drinks at $1.90 and $2.70 – no easy math there), and tip maybe ten cents a drink, which is just blasphemy to any American.  If there are any fellow bartenders reading this, imagine being behind a totally new bar, working the busiest party of the year, not really knowing German, calculating in your head and translating the cost of 7 Mojitos priced at $4.70 each, and serving drinks until 7 am.  And then coming away with a grand total of 25 Euro in tips.  Whew!  That gave me renewed appreciation for bartending in America!   It was a good challenge though, and quite the mental and physical workout – so much so that Alex and I decided to be as lazy as possible on Sunday, sleeping until  3:30 in the afternoon and then stretching a lazy breakfast into the evening while we watched “Once Upon a Time in America”. A great weekend :  )

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Author: zoegoesrunning

Hello! I'm a runner, a writer, and have run across the United States and the Tour de France course. Most recently, I'm blogging about my adventures in an MFA program that will bring me to Chile, Argentina, and Brazil, and my teaching plans for Argentina.

3 thoughts on “Zwei Hefe Weizen Bitte”

  1. Thanks for the shout out and after 3 years of bartending in Spain I am in love with doing it usa style again. I feel like a millionaire. Peace, love sunshine and kisses.

    Is it posible that we spoke about those feeling of being swallowed up before? India is calling us…

  2. Hey Sparkster ! Another nice post …glad to have you back on the circuit !

    Remember when I would write to all of you …my weekly poem …I owned those words , I lived those emotions …the writing helped me express myself while letting you know how I was feeling yet the writing and the reading of my poems set me at ease and as you say ….helped me release the energies both negative and positive within myself . It is my belief that writing is for ones self and the words are signals to other readers of the writers emotions , state of mind , wishes , fantasies , thoughts , ideas and so on . Have you ever been able to write without reading what you’ve written during or after you are done ? For me it’s nearly impossible …I enjoy writing and more so , I enjoy reading what I’ve written .

    Glad to hear you got the pesty tick out from under your skin and glad to hear you slept in til 3:30 !!

    A poem for you !!! ……

    Today I going to take a vertical run until I reach the deep blue sky , and when I get there I’m going to find a cozy cloud to rest on .

    Afloat on my pillow of soft vapor way up , way up high ,
    I’ll send you some love and soak up the warming sun !

    Getting up from my blanket of bliss , I’ll swim the jet stream ,
    and I’ll stay late , late , late ….I think you know just what I mean !

    Big “Boating Suit” Love , Dad xoxox

  3. hey Z guess what ???
    41456u79 I fee the same !!!38783926

    i think you are right about keep update a journal, I wish i did, since i was a kid, to start to do it, because sometimes memories are to deep to get them emerged you still get some flavors of it but not The such original parfum of the ink on the paper …
    well nice post you did good job
    P&L Fab see you soon …
    PS for big Daddy i’ m about to make an out-door shower …yyyyeaaah!!!

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